Funny Poem – Just Plain Bud

Gravity

I hate gravityIt messes with my faceIt pulls my chins and other skinsSeverely out of place;It takes my facial featuresAnd makes them even moreHangy saggy baggyThan they ever were before.Gravity sucks

Went to breakfast yesterdayNot too far, just down the wayAs I was seated in my boothThe server came, her name was RuthWith swaying hips and awesome legsShe asked me how I like my eggsI like them very much I saidBut I’ll have fruit instead of breadAnd even though I love it mostToo much carbs areContinue reading “The Breakfast”

Ode to a Self Driving Truck

A song with no tune, first came to me when a friend posted the accompanying meme on facebook. The lengths I’ll go to get a laugh know no limit. 🎵I kepper fulla diesel I washed ‘er ever’ day When I went in the Minimart She up an’ drove away🎵 She left me for a KenworthContinue reading “Ode to a Self Driving Truck”

Grinchy Me

Thank you Dr. Seuss, for providing a simple way to define myself. Grinchy days behind me Grinchy days ahead Holidays don’t cheer me up It’s grumpiness instead I don’t know why I am like this A mystery to me It’s just the way I’ve always been As far as I can see That’s not toContinue reading “Grinchy Me”

The Butt-Head

I’ve always been a butt-head It’s not a source of pride Even though I do my best It’s something I can’t hide It often tends to manifest In ways I can’t suppress How I got to be this way Is anybody’s guess

Butt Dialin’

She called me yesterday But had not much to say I didn’t even think she knew my name And though my face was smilin’ I think her butt was dialin’ What the heck I love her just the same